I want to make a zoo with you.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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