And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize