i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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