he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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