im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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