Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
