it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
