North Korea, Best Korea!
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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