The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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