my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
