If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
