im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
