I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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