bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
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