I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
