i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Randomize
