yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Can I color on your dick again?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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