Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize