Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
