I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
