i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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