and she was petting her beer can
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
