He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize