Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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