there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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