Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
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