he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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