im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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