the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
