More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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