Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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