ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
