Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
