I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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