My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
