grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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