Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
