just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
