God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
