If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
