Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
