Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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