i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
wow bdsm is so cute
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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