we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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