My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
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