Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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