this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Even the bartender felt bad for me
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
