she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
