weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I could fuck to npr.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
