hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i will never coherently bang her
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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