So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
