I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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