i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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