i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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