Pants 0. Shit 1.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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