there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
handjob tips. give me some.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
