Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
