Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Randomize
