My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
