i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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