This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
