We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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