I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize